A Return to Oneself

A return to oneself…I love this…I have been actively working on this for the past couple of years. It has been a slow and mindful practice as it took over 40 years to create the turmoil within.
I have been slowly dismantling the expectations, ideas and limitations that others have placed on me so that I may unfurl into the perfect bloom that I am. This takes time as change, even good change, can be scary and the ego mind doesn’t like it much. However, it is possible…I am living proof!
I did at one time feel lost, very small and very ineffective in supporting others and especially myself. I felt like a failure due to not meeting the expectations of others or playing the vicious comparison game with myself always falling short.
In fact, once I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I even had people in my life, close people, tell me it is all in my head, or that I was not doing something right and that it was my fault. Sadly, I believed them for a while and it pushed me into the depths of depression…I knew then that changes were needed and they were needed asap.
So I I removed toxic relationships and experiences out of my life. This was not easy and still to this day, I am sure there are people unaware that I even did this. I regained my confidence to be unabashedly me and I stepped into my power to support myself and others on a whole new level, a level that I am so proud of and humbled to be able to do.
Today, I find myself happy with who I am and how I show up in the world. I still have work to do as we are all “Works in Progress” and the work will never be done as it is truly a journey to the soul. With life experiences and people impacting our thoughts, our bodies and so our lives, it is ok to be on a continued remodel as one navigates what works and what doesn’t. The beauty of this is that we get to figure this out and then decide what is the best path for us….and we can change our minds.
I know I have angered and frustrated people and I am sorry for that as I never intend to purposely hurt anyone. From my studies of the 4 Agreements, I realized that their pain, discomfort and/or anger is actually not about me, and in fact, it is all about themselves. Some people use and or manipulate (intentionally and unintentionally) others as a way of making themselves feel better about who they are. To them I send love and hope that they see that the only person they need to put effort into is themselves. Happiness always comes from within, never external sources.
So on this beautiful Sunday morning, I am sending out love, light, peace, compassion and forgiveness to all who need it. And for anyone reading this post, may you find the courage to step into your light, your power and to set up clear boundaries to ensure that you can be the best version of you always. Remember, who you surround yourself with impacts who you are, how you feel and how you show up in the world. May your circle of peeps be AMZING EARTH ANGELS THAT LIFT YOU UP, LOVE YOU FOR YOU AND BE A MIRROR FOR YOU TO SEE JUST HOW SPECIAL AND WONDERFUL YOU ARE. 💖🙏🏽💖

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